A very nervous person's guide to horror movies

What's the big deal about horror movies, and who watches them, anyway?

"I'm nervous about the jump scares"

"I'm nervous about horror films and my mental health"

"I'm nervous about horror films and my physical health"

"I'm nervous that horror films are immoral"

"I'm nervous that watching horror makes me look stupid"

"I'm nervous about kids watching horror"

"I'm nervous about what the popularity of horror says about society"

"Okay, I'm about ready to watch a horror movie. What now?"